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I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Paperback)
Written and put together with compassion, nuance, and emotionally difficult truths, Real explains how both the home environment and the world around us in childhood is shaped by patriarchy, emotionally wounding boys and men. In his work as a relational recovery therapist, Real shares stories about men of all ages on their path to healing their relationships, psychic wounds, and repairing their own inner selves. Whether you are a man or love a man in any capacity, be it your spouse, brother, father, or friend, this is an essential read for understanding ourselves and each other, and to help each other recover. This is undoubtedly a book of lasting impact.— From Andrew
A bestseller for over 20 years, I Don’t Want to Talk About It is a groundbreaking and hopeful guide to understanding and destigmatizing male depression, essential not only for men who may be suffering but for the people who love them.
Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children.
This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.
About the Author
Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of Us, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage.
“This is a hopeful and important book because it shows a way out of depression for men.” —The New York Times Book Review
“An important book about men and depression that is uplifting...Men will recognize the other men found here: laconic bullet-biters, 'rage-aholics,' emotional runaways, and badly fathered sons turned into disconnected dads who spill their emotional truths onto the page.” —Richard Higgins, The Boston Globe
“Extraordinary...brings to light a hidden history of male depression...A powerful book.” —Michael Kimmel, San Francisco Chronicle Book Review
“The most provocative in a flood of new books on depression...The only volume that speaks exclusively to and about depressed men.” —Pamela Warrick, Los Angeles Times
“Offers not only crucial insights to men suffering from depression but also comfort and guidance to the women who love them.” —John Bradshaw